Saturday, September 4, 2010

Temporarily Lost...But Happy...


Some of my friends are depressed, struggling with everyday life..I don't know what to do for them. What to say to make them feel better...Their problems are paramount. And I feel guilty that my biggest problem at the moment is wondering when I am going to find the time to finish painting my kitchen...
I am happy..It takes a lot to get me down. My life is wonderful. If I had to do it all over again..I would do it exactly the same way...No kidding.
My daughter is leaving for school in less than 2 weeks..What is that empty nest syndrome that some people speak of...Empty nest?? I have a husband and a cat...My house won't be empty. I have the best memories in this house...Not emptiness...
You know...some people blog about their lives...they spill it all on the internet for everyone to see. But something comes out of that tell all post...They are human..Human beings with real raw emotion. You learn that no one is perfect when you read these tell all posts. You feel like you are not alone...
Don't kid your self, I myself am flawed...I am a procrastinator, I have a hard time saying no, at the expense of my own needs, I can be selfish at times, I am indecisive, and are almost never happy with what I try to accomplish. I try to hard...Is it for myself, or for others? I don't know. I am always chasing daylight... Wanting to do it all..Living my life in the fast lane as if it were my last day...And in the mix I get lost... Lost, frustrated, worried, overwhelmed. I'm posting this blog entry because I want to remember. Remember the emotion that comes with risk and being on the cusp of success. Or failure. Oh that blurry line I so strongly detest.
I'm tired...
I know there might be a few others who know how I'm feeling right now. Oh, Internet, I get you. I tangibly know the feelings of frustration and worry ... but I also know the emotion that accompanies risk: joy, excitement, and fear. I hope this post makes you feel less alone. Or, really, makes me feel less alone. Because if I was totally being honest, all I really want is for a random blog reader to find me in the street today and say By God I shall never leave you...
Love is all you need...
I am happy..
I've stopped myself and whispered, In this moment...I am happy. It's far too easy to let the gravity of a time slip pass. In light of this, I'm stopping myself--my crazy, spinning world--to remind me of how happiness feels. It feels like a strong wind. It feels like dark chocolate ice cream. My kids laughing. It feels like the palm of Steve's hand. It feels beautiful.I've promised to make note of my happiness. To stop time and remind myself of just how beautiful life is. Because it is. Beautiful.

12 comments:

scrappin girl said...

Very well said. I agree we are always seeing some of our struggles are HUGE mountians and in reality they are HILLS we were meant to climb. Many blessing

Karen Lee said...

Life is BEAUTIFUL Lisa! Sometimes we just need to step back and remember that it is.

xoxo Karen Lee

Southern Moments said...

Lisa..everything you have said is very true. I am one who holds everything in...life throws curves,but I know that happiness comes from within. I live my life the best I can and love with all my heart and in the end I know I have done my best.
I know too that I have been blessed to have found friends online just like you that have touched my heart.
Hugs,
Mary

Lynette said...

Beautiful post Lisa. Something to look back on and remember...happy days;-D Thank you for being a "true" friend in cyberspace, somebody that will stop and take a moment to listen, love and encourage.

xx

Crystal Thomas said...

Lisa what a beautiful post and everyday life can get you down and unfocused on what is really important. You are beautiful and god loves you always!

Michelle said...

Lisa , thanks for sharing such an honest heartfelt posting. You speak for many of us I'm sure ..myself included! I recently turned down a fulltime job to stay in my part time position...it took ALOT of crying and soul searching last weekend but in the end I had to pick what makes me...and ulitmately my family ... happy. Money can't buy happiness and I know that if I had taken the job I wouldn't have very much creative time just for me and that would have made me so UNHAPPY that all the money in the world wouldn't make up for it! Happiness truly does come from within and from making the choices that are the best for our soul ...not necessarily our pocketbooks! Happy Labour Day weekend!Thanks for all your inspiration!

Tammara said...

Great post! Have a wonderful rest of the weekend!

Cindy Gay said...

I can relate to the "trying too hard" thing. Is it for me or is it for others? I'm never real sure of that either.

But I do like the illustration you made at the top of your post!

And I do think it's a good idea that we talk ourselves into being happy and keep going!

Vicky Alberto said...

amazing post, thank you Lisa

Scrapashopaholic said...

OMG...this is just too beautiful of a post for words! Your thoughts and feelings...they are just amazing to me and I really appreciate you taking a moment for me to remind me to step back and enjoy my life and all the blessings that are in my life!

Lynn Biermann said...

Thank you Lisa for your beautiful heartfelt words...

Denise said...

Beautifully said Lisa. I can't believe I missed this post..I am such a stalker...I mean fan..of urs;) Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings (((hugs and love)))