Friday, January 20, 2012

Put it in a Rocket Ship


Life is to short to waste time...and love...
These words come from one of my very good mentors in the photography world. Bambi Cantrell. Pass this on if you know someone who is in this situation. It's never to late...

"All of us at one time or another have had some sort of disagreement with a family member. Maybe they said or did something that upset us, and we didn’t talk to them for a while. When does it cross over from being just a normal disagreement to one of a more serious nature? I guess it would depend on a number of factors most of which are attitude based.

It is easy to fall into a pattern of behavior where we ignore the problem, and the family member, because it is just too painful to address. But is ignoring the person, the answer? Hardly. In fact, all we are doing is keeping ourselves from happiness, and in the process making others just as unhappy. Case in point: One of my relatives was for whatever reason was estranged from her father and stepmother. For the life of me, I can’t remember why. I guess they found a reason to be upset at one another, and fell into a pattern of ignoring each other, allowing stupid issues to rob them of a beautiful close bond of love. Tragically, this beautiful person died in an accident before that stupid argument was resolved… how sad, how tragic, ..how permanent. (Sorry to back up the hearse, but this is reality) Her father has spent the better part of 25 years, grieving his dear daughter, and doing the “would have, should have, could have” game. Are any of you out there in similar circumstances? If so, what is so important, so earth shaking, that you can’t reach out to those loved ones, and put the issues to bed once and for all?. Will it take a death to make you finally see how really silly those issues were? Would you even remember what it was that caused the rift? What could possibly be so important that it causes you to finish this sentence…I don’t talk to my father because…I don’t talk to my daughter because… My mother is dead to me because..” Will it take loosing those loved ones in death to make us finally wake up and realize that while one has breath in one’s body, there is nothing more important than family? In the case of my dear beloved, her children continued to suffer long after her death. Her dad so grieved because of his failure couldn’t face his grandchildren, and in the process, lost not only his daughter but a wonderful relationship with his grandchildren. Those grandchildren lost out not only a mother, but grandparents to keep the memory of their mother alive..I guess the point of this very heavy blog post is, if you have something like this taking place in your family suck it up and seek out those lost ones, love them, and do not allow the fear of rejection to keep you apart. Don’t allow another day to pass with words unspoken.. tomorrow isn’t just another day. Why not make January 1, 2011 the day to put the past in a rocket ship and shoot it to the moon."

I know someone in this situation as I write this. I know she will read this. My hope is that she turns the tables around before it's to late...

4 comments:

Beth Hallgren said...

Wonderful words of wisdom.

Tracey ~ GardenOfGrace said...

This is so true. Life is way to short to let disagreements get in the way of relationships!! ~ Blessings

http://gracescraps.blogspot.com/

Sandra said...

I have a girlfriend who is in this position with her brother, they were so close and something has estranged them and I have spoken to her about the very things you talk about. I know she wont read this because she is not a craft or computer person so I'm tempted to read your article to her. Thanks for taking the time to write such a message, life is so short.

Lizzyc said...

oh Lisa, you do not know me but these words cut into my heart.. somehow my sister and her daughter are in this situation and i am in the middle, trying desperately to bring some reconciliation, but to no avail, yet.. it is breaking my heart, i see both sides of this coin, but the reality is life to too short and as time goes by it seems to get harder to get these two together... i am going to copy and paste this and email it to my niece, but it seems like her heart is stone and she just cannot even look at her mother, let alone be civil to her...i am praying that God will help us all... it is so hard... thank you for sharing this... you knows what these words may do... ?? thank you...